Sunday, June 7, 2015

When life comes full circle

   So, a little over a year ago I had the rug pulled out from beneath me, so to speak. I can't remember if I ever wrote about it here and am too lazy to go back and check. The farm got auctioned off and I was scrambling to find homes for horses, tell all my boarders, and tell my lesson kids, get everything packed up and sold or stored.  This was all less than a week post partum. It was a rough moment in my life and honestly, in hind sight, I feel that I live a pretty charmed life if that is my worst trial. I'm still not sure how but my mom bought it back from the new owners, much to pretty much everyone's chagrin. I was angry, worried and then just kind of had to let it all go. I was able to be a full time stay at home mom. I enjoyed Ezra so much, my big kids were so sweet to each other and him. I spent time trying out homemade recipes, looking for ways to save money and be better at budgeting, I cleaned the house. These homemaker skills are not my strong suit and normally would stress me out but for some reason I felt like I was finally hitting my stride in the mom department. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but all the things that come with keeping kids alive and husbands happy have taken work.
    As Chops was thinking about going back to school I knew we would need to supplement our income if we didn't want to accumulate massive amounts of student loans. My first thought, of course, was to teach lessons. But I needed to make sure that the farm was securely getting the mortgage paid. I slowly, very slowly, started working at the farm again getting it fixed up and ready to rent out. There were a handful of horses there but not too many. I kept giving myself a deadline that I could never accomplish and would get frustrated. I finally just put an ad on KSL to see if anyone would be interested. I had a guy call and come out and as I was showing him around it sunk in how much more I needed to do. It was overwhelming to think about.
     I mentioned to my cousin that I needed to rent out the barn and she brought it up to her daugher's riding lessson teacher who was boarding at a barn (Moonridge-Rachel this is for you, you would not recognize it anymore, it's sandwiched in next to an Instacare and a Walmart!) that had 90 horses. It was pretty crowded to say the least so she was very interested to move somewhere more quiet.  She came to check it out and loved it, even in its slightly dilapidated state. I had some work to do getting it ready and enlisted the help of Chops. He finally was out of elementary school and had some time before scout camp. I am so grateful for his help. We fixed broken boards in the arena and every single stall in the barn. We still need to paint and spruce up but it looks so much better already.
    Yesterday she brought 15 horses over! The barn is full, the runs are full. I also had a neighbor bring a horse he just bought and another guy brought two more last night that had to hang out in the arena until we made a spot for them. We went from 9 horses (with most of those being oldies just hanging out not actually paying board...) to 27. Its insane. I'm sure there will be some growing pains and problems to be worked out but I am incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to see the farm back in business. It's kind of ironic, because all the work I've been doing, which I love the feeling of accomplishment has a downside because I don't get to spend as much time with my kids. I look forward to getting things finished so I can get back to hanging out with my crazy kiddos. They really grow up so fast and while I'm not opposed to working in the slightest I do appreciate a bit more the blessing it is to stay at home.


    I am adverse to change. I remember not really wanting High School to end, I didn't want to grow up and be an adult. I hate it when our ward splits (which with the growth in this area is often...) I don't like seeing pastures change to houses. I even have a hard time moving furniture around.  Chops switched up the garden boxes to one big box and I didn't like it, but of course now I love it. But I know that change is good, mostly, and I've got some changes I should probably document.
    I've been in cub scouts the past two and half years. I was called as the Assistant Cubmaster with no clue about how things worked.  I have three younger brothers so you'd think I would at least be familiar but I can't remember anything. I wasn't super thrilled about it. I don't really have anything against Scouting itself, it just always irked me that the Church spends so much time, resources etc for Scouting with the girls getting the shaft.  I felt rubbed the wrong way each time Friends of Scouting came around. Yep, perfect recipe for getting called into Scouts.
      I had a great Cubmaster and I honestly did not have much to do as she did it all (but seriously, she's amazing). I was thinking about how easy my calling was and I enjoyed it; next thing I know I'm getting called in and extended the call as Cub Committee Chair, aka a person that is in charge of keeping track of everything and making sure we do things by the book, uniforms in order, rules are followed etc.  I broke down and cried right then and there.  To be fair, I think it was right after I had Ezra and the farm was in upheaval but I knew it would be a change and more work doing tasks I am not inherently good at. The counselor told me to think about it and I told him I'd do it, but I wasn't happy about it.
    There was a lot of work, especially in the fall getting all the records straight and the last couple of months preparing for Day Camp but I was thinking, hey I am getting the hang of this gig. Cue getting called in.  I kid you not, the day I had my coming to peace with my calling I get called in and asked to be the 2nd counselor in the Relief Society. Our cubmaster was moving and getting released so I had assumed I would be in my calling for quite some time longer and did not have an inkling. Honestly, with the prep for day camp being quite extensive, my first thought was, yeah that's got to be easier :) Although as I thought later I remembered/was informed of all the duties I have ahead of me so we'll see. They also released the Primary presidency the same week though so I do not have a replacement in cub scouts so I feel like I need to keep up with day camp prep, I will be glad when that is over!  I am excited to be in RS again. I was with VT for quite a while and enjoyed going on visits. I have taught before and enjoyed it then although I am feeling nervous about teaching after such a long hiatus. My main responsibility is activities which is not my strong suit but I am great at setting up chairs. I have more big news but I think I'm going to make a new post.